My Skinny Friend Eats Everything, Why Can’t I?

We all despise that girl - the one who eats anything and everything and still looks dynamite in a bikini. Is life just cruel and unfair, or does this girl know something we don't know?

Sometimes body shape and size depend on the luck of the draw. Certain hormones and genetic variations make it harder for some people to lose weight than others, and some body types are naturally more prone to disease. If your relatives are overweight or obese, you may have a genetic predisposition to gain weight and carry more fat.

Genetics are responsible for a number of traits including appetite, metabolism, and the amount of fat and muscle we carry. For example, men naturally have more muscle and thus burn more calories than women, so they can eat more. Children and teenagers can eat junk food galore without gaining an ounce because their bodies are growing and using loads of energy. Women, on the other hand, face an uphill battle as they age because they lose muscle, and thus their metabolism begins to slow down, around age 40.

Although we weren't all born into a thin family, genetics are just one piece of the puzzle. Overweight and obesity are primarily caused by a high-calorie diet, sedentary lifestyle, and habits and behaviors modeled for us by our parents. In addition, household income, parent education, and demographic factors all play a role in obesity. More education usually means greater awareness of healthy habits, and living in an area full of parks, bicycle trails, health clubs, and national parks can get even the most sedentary person active.

The Secrets of Skinny People

Although genetics play a role in overweight and obesity, sometimes being thin is about making a few simple changes and staying motivated to do the work. Here are a few of the best-kept secrets of skinny people:

Watch portion sizes. Thin people fill their plates with mostly fruits, vegetables, and lean protein. Since the first few bites of any food taste the best, they eat until the hunger goes away without feeling obligated to clean their plate. They also make a conscious effort to buy single-serving snack packs, use smaller plates, and eat at restaurants with reasonable portion sizes (or bring home leftovers). According to the National Weight Control Registry, people who successfully maintain their weight tend to eat five small meals a day rather than three large ones.

Eat slowly. Thin people eat slowly, enjoy their food, take breaks in between bites, and drink lots of water. It takes the stomach 20 minutes to signal the brain that it's full. Before taking a second helping or reaching for dessert, thin people socialize, take a walk, or do some other activity.

Exercise, and enjoy it. The best way to counteract the effects of age and bad genetics is by strength training to build lean muscle and engaging in regular aerobic exercise. Thin people prioritize consistent physical activity of all kinds, and actually find joy in taking care of their bodies. They even tend to stand, walk, and fidget more often than heavier people. Often, the difference between lean and overweight is a matter of sitting a couple extra hours a day. "Ninety percent of people who maintain their weight are exercising in a way that's the equivalent of walking four miles a day," says registered dietitian Elizabeth Somer, the author of 10 Habits That Mess Up a Woman's Diet.

Be aware of your body. Thin people pay attention to what they eat and how it makes them feel, and they stop eating before they're stuffed. Thin people can tell, either by weighing themselves or by the way their clothes fit, when they are gaining weight - and they do gain weight. At the first sign of trouble, they make small changes in their diet like cutting back on dessert or dining out, or they step up their exercise regimen.

Don't skip meals. Skipping meals until you feel ravenously hungry makes you much less likely to control impulses to overeat. Researchers from the University of Massachusetts Medical School found that skipping meals and eating fewer, larger meals may cause insulin to spike, which triggers hunger and could cause more blood sugar to be stored as fat. Also, studies have consistently shown that people who eat breakfast every day are far less likely to be obese or overweight.

Limit your options. Although eating a variety of nutrient-dense foods like fruits, vegetables, and whole grains is critical to weight maintenance, thin people make a habit of limiting certain foods. They don't buy potato chips, cookies, or candy at the supermarket, and they only visit the local fast-food joint once a week or every two weeks. If there are foods they simply can't resist, thin people will limit their exposure by eating those foods only at restaurants or on a special occasion. Or, those who simply can't live without certain treats will cut calories elsewhere or counteract the indulgence with extra time at the gym.

Enjoy a treat in moderation. Thin people love food just as much as overweight people. They have cravings, tough days, and weaknesses like everyone else. But they allow themselves an off day or an occasional treat without feeling shame or guilt, and then they get right back to their regular routine. Rather than making dessert a daily occurrence, sweets are reserved for one or two special nights a week.

Food is fuel. People tend to wrap up a lot of emotion with food. Overweight individuals often think they'll be happy when they're thin and place too much emphasis on reaching their weight-loss goal. Thin people don't obsess over every pound shed or gained, monitor the number of steps they take each day, or compulsively count calories. Rather, they take a positive view of themselves and their lives and treat food for what it is - fuel to keep the body going. Food isn't a friend or enemy, or a soft place to fall after an exhausting day. Instead of eating, thin people use exercise, social gatherings, and new activities to relieve stress, relax, and regroup.

Thinner Isn't Always Healthier

If you're still feeling envious of your skinny friend, take heart: Being thin doesn't necessarily mean she's not fat. In fact, studies suggest your skinny friend may know less about health and nutrition than you do. A British research team recently discovered that thin people can have more of the dangerous internal fat surrounding their vital organs like the heart, liver, or pancreas than heavier people. This is because thin people often maintain their weight through diet (eating unhealthy food, but in small portions) rather than exercise.

Even individuals with a normal body mass index (BMI) score can have unhealthy levels of fat deposits inside. In fact, as many as 45 percent of the women studied and 60 percent of the men with normal BMI scores (20 to 25) had excessive levels of internal fat. Although your skinny friend may look like a supermodel to the naked eye, she may run the same risk of diabetes, stroke, or heart disease as a Sumo wrestler.

Also, remember that unless you see your friend 24 hours a day, you may have a skewed view of her eating habits. She may eat a huge breakfast or lunch or snack all day, and then eat a bowl of cereal for dinner. Perhaps your friend just has an excellent flair for styling a slimming wardrobe or knows superhuman ways to work her Spanx. The right pair of jeans can shed an easy 10 pounds.

If you spend enough time with thin people and watch their habits, you'll see the differences in their eating habits may be minute. Your friend may eat a juicy, sauce-slathered burger, but she removes the bun. She may drink a decadent chocolate milkshake, but she won't splurge on dessert for a full week afterward. Or maybe she drinks water instead of soda.

The bottom line is sometimes life isn't fair. Maybe you weren't blessed with a roaring metabolism, but that just means weight is one area you'll have to work harder on. Remember that everyone is battling something, and try to give yourself - and your friend - a break. If that doesn't work, remember that metabolism slows down with age, and your skinny friend may not be so skinny 10 years from now.